Apocalyptic Thought

 I don't remember when I learned to comfort myself, but I don't trust it. The ways in which I do, feel short sighted. It feels as though if I rely on the current methodologies, it will result in bankruptcy. It will feel as though the cost is more than can be paid and sacrifice is the only way to make the payment. So much is burrowed from the future self, so the affordability is slim.  But why take the risk?

 The amount of control and understanding to keep emotions tempered are immense, that require so much to even make this possible. Mindfulness has become such a buzzword, it's easy to understand why this seems unachievable. The irony of it being that the exercise that can allow for this to happen requires no time or effort. Just closed eyes and pushing out all thoughts.  Letting the thoughts come and go is the healthiest thing possible for clarity. It is the strongest method for creating a stable mental state. Clear the clutter and drain the toxins. Do what is needed. Just close your eyes. 

 We all got one, but the ecosystem that shapes and details our bodies tends to go unnoticed. The ratio to fast food to actual restaurants, the amount of farmer's markets under-advertised and recognized, and the amount of sales of processed to whole food are things we as a people over look. Conditioned to pay less for more quantities of items due to sales and deals convinces that more is needed that has nothing be empty calories. Moderation has become a mantra, declaring an unhealthy substance is okay as long as it's not abused. The social norms of meeting up in food areas diminish the locations where gathering can happen for free with consuming alcohol or eating salt saturated snacks.  There's doubt in if this makes for a good conspiracy, but there has to be bigger reasons that restaurants can get away with not seasoning vegetables. 

 I hear it’s the bringer of all things; the solution to all my problems. It’s what will give me focus to banished all the distractions keeping me from my dreams. It could just be a trap, a laser pit scorching my hopes as dreams, but I suppose that only happens if my expectations are misguided. That only happens if I miss the learning opportunity. That only happens if I give up.  So if I give into my stubbornness, I’ll finally start to win?

 The level of agony required grow seems so high. The low feel so lasting, but the human mind can do nifty things with memory and refreshing and perspective. They aren't nature or intuitive though. Meditation has to be the strangest experience, where waiting for Godot can heal so much with not much happening. Taking moments with eyes closed, pushing thoughts out with a soft nudge creates such strong neuron linking. Thought connect quicker. Realization occur more frequently. The path to the destination appears out of nowhere, all because of focusing on nothingness.  The brain is weird, and does so powerful things is mystery. 

 The can be repetitive, or least the same time each, themes changing or truly about the same thing will different subject. The main point is that it happens. The only thing that’s good about conflict with people that you love is that it’s resolved. The resolution is the only thing that matters. Otherwise, your going to the gym but not actually working  out.